Facing Fear

Facing fear of illness and death is the utmost challenge. I do not know how many face these fears but I bet there are numerous; especially those chronically and terminally ill. My fears ratcheted up to the nth degree the past several years as I grew older with yet another illness in which the medications were just about deadly as the disease. Anxiety began to snatch my days. Until I had enough and started to fight back and face my fears.

It is still very hard for me to write and share about this publicly; however, I feel I need to for some reason. That’s another fear. Facing Fear.

I am into astrology and I have been seriously studying for about four years. For my own growth and journey. Saturn, the planet that rules Capricorn and the 10th house, that of form, boundaries, control, restriction, time, karma, responsibility, life experience and old age, is nearing the second return in my astrology. Right now transiting Saturn is at late 27 degrees Sagittarius. My natal Saturn is 3 degrees 40 in Capricorn.  Saturn can invoke fear and anxiety as well as depression. I am curious as to what Saturn is teaching me. I am beginning to listen instead of freaking out. Anyway, I have definitely been feeling the approach of Saturn. Indeed. Transiting Saturn will conjunct my natal Saturn on January 20, 2018, at 19 days before my 59th birthday. Oh my, my Saturn could well be another post or two as to what it means in my astrology. I’ll write some about this second Saturn return here and there in the near future.

I lean into these fears now. The anxiety has lessened. I prefer to live my days in the present with creativity, awareness, and gratefulness as a human and in that of growing old instead of letting fear overcome me robbing me of living life. Robbing me of my life. I have my good days and not so good days. Yet I keep going and remember to breathe and be thankful. Being human.

We learn, though, facing our fears whatever they may be till the day we die.

Note: I just free-write short bites for my writing posts revealing as I go along.


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