I anticipate being alive tomorrow. That is my hope and prayer. Yet I might not be. Even though I have been through health challenges and faced death coming out scarred, scared, although amazed with gratitude, I still anticipate being alive tomorrow.
August was a month of death and birth for me. The prairie winds are ushering in September golden and sweet whispering new beginnings.
It was cold this morning. I shivered in delight.
September and October are favorite months of mine. They are the twilight months. I always feel so alive and yet reflective during this time. This is when I naturally tend to grow silent and feel Mother Nature turning on the wheel. This is when Father Sun speaks to me in glowing warmth. This is when I walk between the realms because the veil thins for me. This is when I feel my spiritual beingness move and be in my body. This is when I love life in all that it is.
Shining in the twilight.
Ah, the September days here have been grand weather wise. Clear, bright blue sky days and crisp cold nights.
Weather is always the top topic among the natives of the little town I live in. You can strike up a conversation just about the weather. People open up and smile or frown and give their reports.
This is a day in which I labor in my creative pursuits enjoying the moments as the day unfolds. The air is crisp after a chilly night and feels sharper. Everywhere I look appears more defined. I feel a humming within my being, like an electrical current buzzing beneath my skin. There is a connection to all in my environment as we share the Essence of All That Is. It is good to be alive right here and right now.
I am alive. I give thanks every morning when I wake to be alive in a new day.
However, I do anticipate new days.
My writing wings are spread out in graceful flight to vistas unknown.
The passages never end because one leads to another and another and another. Sometimes a window will close and another window will open with new vistas.
I feel like I have been tunneling along for so long and I’m about to find myself in another passage. It is like the rails on the track are going to switch. I seem to hear a faint whistle and there is rumbling beneath my feet.
I have changed a lot in these past few months in my healing journey.
The empty space murmurs.
I wonder at my blindness. Yes, I see what I think and perceive before me. There is more than my singular focus. Many times I’ve caught myself seeing, sensing and feeling there is something there but not yet fully materialized. It is like I catch a fleeting shadow.
Into the empty space where I balk to free-fall, I question my fear. Perhaps it is my fear of the unknown and also, leaving behind which imprints my heart. I intuitively understand that this is a totally different passage.
The sun shining upon me in its warmth brings about this feeling of something there.
There are many types of roadways to take that are not on the map but a destination.
Some roadways are not literal but guideposts for the soul. These passages are the interior design of the makings/creatings of the experiential soul.
It is within to without where one starts a new road in the realms of the astral and then finds one treading a literal road. The spirituality merged with the physicality. The physicality became substance to provide a landscape of possibilities. The possibilities are like the blood veins and capillaries coursing throughout the body. The various passageways are distinct in their functions yet working in harmony of the living being.
Life is about choices, and even the choice not to choose.
What is the purpose in life? The purpose for me is to be myself and to engage and enjoy and share with others. I want to go on being me without apology.
I am reminded of a time when all alone in a new city and new home. It was all strange to me. I hadn’t any idea, really, how to start over. It was scary. Slowly, though, I began exploring the new city becoming familiarized and making my new home mine with my own touches. The new home and city were not the same as I had before. But I had the essence of me to begin again. I had missed my old city and old home until I began appreciating my new surroundings, making new friends, and making new memories. Eventually I settled. I’ve just taken the fork in the road and I am now traveling a new passage. I’ll make this passage my own with my own touches.
Be true to yourself. Be yourself without apology.
Be true to yourself. All else will fall into place.
I am a wind walker. I go here and there experiencing and tasting what life has to offer. I do not care to be with-strained or pigeonholed. I do love life and I must have had been this way always through all my incarnations and why I keep coming back. To savor life and experience it in all its bitterness and sweetness, lows and highs, sadness and joy, and love in its various hues and seasons. To meet again with old souls who I have incarnated with many times.
Do you know what love is?
Loving is all. Loving all that is. Love the letting go and embracing all the experiences of being human; the deaths and births. Love all the people whether you jive or not. Just love. For we are divine beings soul journeying the passages of life and experiencing Great Spirit.
I like most flowers and weeds, too. The dandelion is a favorite weed of mine blowing its seeds in the wind and sporting dragon teeth leaves. I love sunflowers. The sunflower’s face follows the Sun.
I am now listening to my resonation, to my heart, to my soul self. It is an old passage yet a new one that has shifted in my experience.
Listen, listen, listen to the wind blow.
The wind and sun are of my heart. This gives me boundless joy when I listen to the whispering wind and feel the glow of the sun. I am like a sunflower rooted in Mother Earth of the prairie fields buffered by sweet, warm winds, nourished by the thundering rains, and my face follows the sun.
May you live your true heart, follow that which you seek for the shaping of your soul, know your Self, and not apologize for being you… ever and forever.
Do not be judgmental of the process of life unfolding and of yourself. Letting go. Part of the process of letting go and not engaging in conflicts. Just allow all that is occurring. My restraints are loosening because I have accepted my life as is and love my life as is. I am open and I can expand to my possibilities even when sometimes I am afraid.
And even though I anticipate being alive tomorrow without promise.